As you may have heard, it's no longer necessary to be a lady - or rather, originally a lady - to play with the Ladies Professional Golf Association (LPGA).
And as I'll explain shortly (and DO NOT skip down and start reading ahead or I will visit your home and force you to recite Walt Whitman's poem O Captain! My Captain! while standing in a bowl of chicken-noodle soup), this development may have far-reaching implications for professional sports.
In case you missed it, earlier this week players voted to strike out the "female at birth" requirement in the LPGA's constitution that prevented transgendered women from competing on the women's pro-golf circuit.
The vote was prompted by 57-year-old retired police officer Lana Lawless, who underwent "gender re-assignment" surgery five years ago and sued the LPGA because it wouldn't let her attempt to qualify for the tour.
Lawless, who used to be a 240-pound SWAT officer and now has fabulous nails, won the 2008 women's long-drive world championship but was later prevented from defending her title.
I totally support Lawless and the LPGA's decision. I mean, if Lawless were man enough to undergo gender re-assignment surgery, then I'd say she's woman enough for the LPGA.
And frankly, I think this decision could pave the way for some fundamental changes in other sports, too. Clearly, it's time to get our heads out of the 19th century (when men were men, and sheep were nervous) and open our minds to more forward-thinking ideas that could breathe new life into some stagnant sports.
Here are just a few of the possibilities:
Bad Race Car Drivers: NASCAR appeals to many fans because the race cars resemble regular cars and we can all fantasize about driving around Daytona. I say we exploit this concept further and make stock-car racing even more similar to everyday commuting. How? Install horns, GPS units ("Turn left. Turn left. Turn left.") and allow untrained, unlicensed drivers behind the wheel - just like in real life! Because let's face it: Expert drivers are boring to watch. But an untrained, easily distracted bonehead trying to read his latest text messages while changing lanes at 180 mph makes for an entertaining spectacle.
Dead Jockeys: Here are two indisputable facts: (a) A good jockey can't make a bad horse win (although a bad jockey can make a good horse lose) and (b) dead people don't participate much in organized sports. So why not allow the dearly departed to have some fun (and get a much-needed cardiovascular workout) by strapping them onto a thoroughbred for the featured 7th? (This would also eliminate any accusations of race fixing.)
Basketball Players: Just like the LPGA was biased against golfers who used to be men, the NBA has been less-than-welcoming to players who need a stool to reach things on top of the fridge. In fact, the league should implement a rule stipulating that every team must always have at least one player shorter than 5-foot-7 on the court.
So there you have it. And remember: Water polo isn't much fun when your horse drowns.
E-mail ian.gillespie@sunmedia.ca, read Ian's blog. or follow Ianatlfpress on Twitter.
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